A while ago I finished reading The Whole Brain Child and must admit that this is one of the best books I’ve read, especially in the genre of understanding how the human brain and behaviour work. In fact, I think everyone should read it! Although focused on children’s behaviour, it certainly applies to any human being. Let me share some insights with you.

1. We can all gain from understanding how the brain affects behaviour

As much as we would like to believe we’re a long way down the evolutionary chain, there are still key functions in our brains that can wreak havoc. For example, when a fight-or-flight response has kicked in, there is no point in addressing the issue logically, as that part of the brain is being highjacked and is effectively shut down. By understanding this, it becomes clear that you first must emotionally soothe and reconnect before addressing the issue logically. In other words, don’t explain it away immediately, calm and soothe first. How about when a colleague is told that their team will be down-sized if performance doesn’t pick up – Are you sure a logical explanation would suffice?

2. Don’t just dismiss and deny

As the author illustrates many times, we are all prone to “dismiss and deny”. When your child doesn’t want to go to the dentist (and perhaps throws a tantrum), how often have you said something like “Don’t worry, it will be ok, the dentist will be quick”, or “You must go to the dentist otherwise your teeth will fall out. Do you want that?”? What you might be doing is dismissing the fear of your child, and denying them the opportunity to deal with the real issue at hand. Perhaps there is residual fear, that the child doesn’t even fully understand, and by exploring the “why” behind the hesitance you might solve the real problem. How about when your subordinate flips when you give them yet another mundane task and fails to fulfil on the task – are you sure they are just being lazy or unwilling to help.

3. It’s about awareness, not perfection

Always remember that the point is not to be the perfect parent / colleague / boss / subordinate / spouse etc, it’s about being aware of why behaviours might manifest, and using the tools at your disposal to try and unlock the situation. You will miss chances and opportunities to do that and it’s ok. You certainly don’t want to be the robotic person constantly over-analysing everyone and attempting to put everyone through therapy. We all know someone who’s constantly trying to fix everything or everyone…

I hope you found this useful, thanks for your time.

Francis